[myl] 94.9 - ways to spend a day off

[magic_fratboy]

- hang with my girl
- tie myself up
- cuff myself and dive into a pool
- clip my cats' claws
- walk on broken glass
- escape from a milk can
- go grocery shopping
- take a nap in a coffin
- drop shit off the roof of a building
- run myself over with a bulldozer
- look for a realtor
- get run through a woodchipper
- let a car run me over
- pick up paper towels

Tommy Karras
Original Character

Comments

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

No.

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

No what?

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

Let a car run you over? A bulldozer?

A WOODCHIPPER TOMMY!?

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'll forget the bulldozer.

...what about a steamroller?

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

[peeks up from the real estate section of the paper] Pardon me.....

Did you say steamroller?

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

Well...yeah.

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

I have never seen a magician do any sort of magic with a steamroller. Can't we get you some birds or something?

What do you think of this? The view from the master bedroom is amazing.

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

Sure you can, but I can still...ah...

Selene? Babe, this house is five million dollars.

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

For the sake of my heart, can we start out small? Or must we jump straight to you getting mowed down by a steamroller?

[glances at the ad] Oh. Hm. I had not noticed. This one is far less expensive, thoughts?

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

Well I ain't gonna do that right away! Of course I'm starting smaller. I'm torn between the Water Torture Cell and some kind of body suspension.

...uh...babe, that's three million. It's funky and I love it, but...it's three million dollars. We can find something a fuck of a lot cheaper, ya know?

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

Body suspension? Explain...

You love it, it is in Hollywood and we have more then enough money to buy it. I am certain that we can find something cheaper...but why?

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

Well, it's more a real thing and less an illusion...like tribal stuff, ya know? Being suspended from hooks and shit...

...I guess I sorta forget sometimes that you have money. But...we don't have to use it, right? Put it all away for a kid's college fund or something. We don't need anything...ostentatious. Just room to grow is all.

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

Hooks. I see....

Tommy, love, there is no possible course of study our children could ever take that would drain my bank account dry. Nor will that house. What is mine, is yours. It is ours.

If you are not comfortable with it....we will find something else...

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I just...don't understand that kinda money, ya know? I only know a million dollars as the stuff I saw behind Plexiglass at the Golden Horseshoe when I was a kid. It's not real to me.

But ya know what? Get whatever you want. I'm happy just so long as we're together...I do like that one, though.

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

No. That is not how this works. I do not get to 'get whatever I want'. I want to do this together.

How much are you comfortable spending?

I would like for you to consider though that for many, many years I have fought, bled and sweat for my people. Every penny I spend has been taken out of me mind, body and soul. Buying a home, to build a life and hopefully a family with you....I have earned this, my love.

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

I dunno...I been looking for a realtor and I was thinking 'bout something around 500K? Give or take, anyway.

Babe I don't disagree. You deserve whatever you want. I really can live in a paper bag, long as we're both sharing it.

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

Then we can keep looking. Until we find something that makes you more fiscally comfortable.

You deserve it as well.

Tommy? Is this about the cost or about you being able to provide for me?

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

Both? I mean, sure I wanna take care of you, but I literally just...don't know what to do with that kind of money. Honestly, a million dollar house? I'd be scared of breaking it or something. [sheepish grin]

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

Then why don't we put some money down on a house and finance the rest, so we might have a mortgage like every other normal couple?

If I pay more then a million dollars for anything I'd expect it to be more then durable.

Eventually you are going to have to get use to this...the money...attention....I do not imagine you are fated to live an ordinary life. But one in the limelight. After all, a man who lets himself be run down by a steamroller is certain to catch some attention. [wink]

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

It ain't even about that, it's...I guess I just gotta start learning to think like a married guy. Sharing everything, money included?

C'mon, the steamroller ain't that big a deal.

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

Yes. Sharing everything. Money included. [holds his face in her hands and kisses him] This is our life, together. If we can have the gorgeous house, why not?

I can assure you I would survive being run down by a steamroller, would you be excited to see it happen?

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

[smiles and loops his arms around her waist] And you do deserve a gorgeous house...

Well...no, I wouldn't be, but that's different.

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

[Clears her throat and shakes her head] We. Deserve. It. Soooooo.....can we put in an offer? I am certain I can talk them down in price. I have my ways....[Bats her lashes and flashes a wickedly sweet smile.....before letting it fade to a mock glare.]

How is it different? If I tell you I will live, you will believe it, just as I believe that you will survive. That does not make it easy to watch.....or think about.

I know you will be okay. I do. If you say it is so, I will believe you. Still.........I don't like the idea of you being hurt. Even just a little.

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

[Already, the wife has him in line as he smiles and nods.] Okay, we make an offer. But we haggle, alright?

There is a difference, babe. If you go under a steamroller, I suffer, I know you'll live...and all that comes of that is a lotta pain. If I go under, nobody knows anything. And when I come out alive? Yeah, I know you'll be stressed, but the world keeps turning. Because I went under a steamroller so a bunch of humans would believe I'd survive it. Do you understand?

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

[Her smile gets impossibly big and she nods] Deal. We haggle.

It isn't fair.....you should not suffer if I am hurt.....[She sighed softly and laid her cheek against his chest] I.....understand....you promise me, give me your word, you do not do this without me there.

There won't be....blood or.....squished parts will there?

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

[chuckles and kisses her forehead] Babe, I don't even know if that's what I'm doing yet. It's an idea at this point, nothin' more. But I promise you can be there, and I promise not to make it too bloody...if I can help it. I hear the body suspension can get real gross, especially afterward.

[dealing-death.livejournal.com]

[takes a deep breath, tossing loose a few hairs as she huffs it out]

I can not promise to like these insane stunts of yours, but I promise I will always be there when you do them. [blushes] I've learned enough to know you can use me more then a bandage when it's over with.....I'll kiss you better and yell at you at home.