[this is it now] this is how a heart breaks...

[magic_fratboy]

The mausoleum was allegedly a family crypt, but the Weiss name marked it as a hall of the Fraternity...a final resting place for the one true family each of them would ever know. Each vault held the remains of a Brother or Sister that had died for the cause, all of them at the hands of the Darkness. Here, their bodies got the peace, the rest that their souls would never have the opportunity to enjoy.

It was Tommy's first Broken Wand ceremony, but he still knew it with an eerie sort of familiarity as he led the way into the mausoleum, his hand in Lauren's. She still didn't know what to expect, he knew, but he wanted it that way. He wanted her to see, to realize the thing she was asking of him.

It was time to give her more of himself than he had so far...a look at the man he was, and not the man he wanted to be for her.

"I'm sorry, Master, but she's human."

Tommy glanced over at the younger man ushering at the entrance, undisturbed by the title. Truth be told, he was actually getting used to hearing it, as if it were his due.

"It's cool, I got permission from Mackenroy...Karl, is it?"

"Ulner, Master. Karl Ulner." the usher replied, straightening a little with pride.

Smiling, Tommy nodded to him as he led Lauren to one of the numerous marble benches laid out in rows in the front of the mausoleum, creating a small section of stadium seating. Many other Fraternity members had already arrived, dressed in black with white gloves just as Lauren and Tommy were. Chatting amongst themselves idly, both Ben and the Kellars were visible in the crowd.

"This is a Broken Wand ceremony." Tommy explained to Lauren with quiet sorrow, pointing to a space in front of the audience where a podium, a long table, and three large photos were arranged on stands, depicting three women and one boy that didn't look much older than twenty five. "A funeral lays the body to rest, but this is where those people will be truly laid to rest today. C'mon...there's seats over here."

Comments

[not-cardini.livejournal.com]

She was outside on her own for several minutes before a soft footfall rang out behind her, continuing until it stopped at her side. For a long while, her companion simply stood there silently beside her before making himself known by speaking.

"I had to run at my first one, too." Ben admitted softly, staring out at the peaceful, picturesque landscape of the cemetery's rolling green hills. "We're not allowed to attend these things until we pledge...I was twenty five and still riding the high. Getting in with my little problem and all. Seeing my future was some scary shit, lemme tell ya."

He paused, then sighed as he folded his arms across his chest. "We look, sound, and act human, Laur, but at the end of the day? We're not. You and your people fight for kith, kin, country, and all that jive, but us? We fight for you. Love is one of the facets of hope, and we love you all. We love you enough to die for you...the ultimate death, no less. It's a mistress he'll never be able to give up, the human race...and as a human? Our war is one he'll never willingly call or allow you to fight."

[possessingbadge.livejournal.com]

At first she didn't say anything. The clenching of her jaw followed by her roughly pushing her hands through her hair were the only indicators she even heard him. Part of her thought it would be Tommy. She should of known he'd call in reinforcements.

"I never asked him to give anything up. I just couldn't stand seeing him injured all the time and when I'd ask him about it he'd pat me on the fucking head and tell me not to worry about it." She crossed her arms a little tighter under her breasts but it did almost nothing against the cold she felt inside.

Her mind kept flashing back to photos inside. To all those tombs that lined the walls. He was right when she first met him and he told her he didn't have a long life expectancy. It was only fitting that the keepers of hope should die so young.

"What do I do, Ben?" She asked after falling into silence again. "What the fuck do I do?"

[not-cardini.livejournal.com]

"Well, I don't know about you? But his wife almost left him more than once." Ben admitted. Off her reaction, he shrugged. "Beatrice...Bess Houdini. True, they had a storybook marriage, and she knew the truth about him, but she couldn't deal with it half the time. Drove him into the arms of a lot of other women, and the guilt of that drove Houdini nuts."

He paused, leaning in a little to bump Lauren's arm companionably with his own. "We all chose this life, Laur. Many children of Pandora lead full and normal lives as civilians, but we chose service over living. That includes Tommy. Now you get that, I'm sure, being a cop? But now you have to make a harder choice: if you want to be at Tommy's side, you have to choose not to serve. Because in this army, humans aren't the soldiers...they're the munitions. In that, he ain't kidding you. Every soul we save is one more bullet in the side of those who want you all dead."

[possessingbadge.livejournal.com]

She was surprised to hear that his perfect little Bess, the woman whose shadow Lauren couldn't seem to crawl out of, almost left him. Even more so that he'd cheated on her. It made sense that he wouldn't want to repeat all that again. not that she would was the type to get up in arms about sex. The ultimate betrayal to her was if they gave their heart away. Not their body.

Suddenly she was 18 years old again watching her dad get worse every. Watching him fight and knowing there was nothing she could do for him. She'd done her best to support him. Everyday she had found new things to smile about so father wouldn't know she was dying along side him. But in the end, he lost and his defeat left her alone and hollow. A feeling that she still hadn't been able to shake completely. She never wanted to feel that helpless again. She'd shut everyone out before she let that happen.

"You don't know what you're asking me." She murmured softly and looked him.

[not-cardini.livejournal.com]

"I'm asking you what they asked of us." he replied honestly. "This choice, this calling is older than time. From Pandora to her children and on down the line, this is the sacrifice that's been offered up: giving our lives before we've ever lost 'em. His sacrifice will always come first, and you have to understand that. You can have him, Laur...but you can't hold onto him. That's what it comes down to."

"Hey, kidlets? We're starting."

Ben glanced back over his shoulder at Mike, who had peeked his head out of the entryway to the mausoleum. Nodding, he turned back to Lauren and laid a friendly hand on her shoulder. "C'mon, Spirit Girl...Tommy brought you here for a reason. Let's give some good people a good sendoff, huh?"

[possessingbadge.livejournal.com]

You can have him, Laur...but you can't hold onto him.

The words echoed in her head even as she followed him back inside. She didn't even argue that the people they were honoring were soulless so there was nothing to send off. She just kept her mouth shut and mulled over those words. She'd spent so much time and energy trying to figure out what he wanted from all this that she'd completely neglected what she wanted. It was his show. His rules. She gave him all the power and not only was that probably adding to her distress over everything, it was kind of unfair to him as well.

She didn't know what sort of relationship she wanted from him. Whatever it was, she just wanted him to be honest. Now he was. He couldn't promise her tomorrow. His mission had to come first. And no, there was nothing she would be able to do about it.

That last part still weighed heavy on her. Every instinct her wanted to be able to protect him if the time came that he needed it. So knowing that she probably couldn't, not that he would let her try anyway, was a tough pill to swallow.

Silently, she slipped back to her seat beside him. No conclusions were made but she wasn't leaving either. Her hand found his and interlocked their fingers. Blue-green eyes found amber ones and though no words were spoken, she apologized. She apologized for freaking out, for making that day about her when he'd lost a friend, for not having an answer for him. For all of it.

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

Tommy glanced over as she took her seat beside him, giving Lauren a small, soft smile and squeezing her hand as their fingers linked. He wasn't quite sure what he was feeling in her...some thin, gleaming wire of a thing too hard to be hope and too strong to be despair. Still, there was a gentleness in her manner, a silent apology of sorts, and he patted her hand to let her know he understood as an older gentleman walked to the podium set up at the front of the mausoleum.

"Martin Mackenroy...he's the leader of the Fraternity for the West Coast." Tommy whispered to her for her own edification before Martin began to speak, his soft Southern drawl ringing out throughout the room.

"Three lost souls and one fallen soldier...that's who we're here to honor today. We know that Leo, Jennifer, and Alice can't hear us now, but wherever she is, we hope that Rachel hears us and sees us today...and knows that we remember her as a wonderful young woman, and celebrate the warrior she could have been. We celebrate the blessing of her death, the preservation of her soul, and with her brothers and sisters we acknowledge the beauty of her end, and the necessity of our own. Leo, Jen, and Alice are forever gone...but in their stead, the legacy they fought for lives on."