magic_fratboy: (may - a father's love)
[personal profile] magic_fratboy
Bendytime back to late Sunday afternoon.

“I’m ashamed of myself for not handling this better…losing your mom, being a single dad…all of it.”

He didn’t mean to say it out loud, but there it was. Stretched out in bed with May laying on his chest, well over an hour after both had finished a long nap, Tommy found himself facing the admission that came against his will, slipping in to break the quiet apart.

“I mean…I was never really ready to be a dad when you showed up.” He went on, raking his hair out of his eyes before resting his chin against his chest to better watch his daughter, tilting her own little head up to watch him with her pudgy cheek pressed flat to the swell of pectoral muscle just over his heart. “You weren’t supposed to happen, and I was supposed to have help. I guess I just feel like I should be doin’ better.”

She cooed at him, bright blue eyes darker today than they had been yesterday…warmer. She was going to have dark eyes like her mother, and Tommy’s heart ached with the knowledge. Giving her his hand, he watched her focus on his fingers before deploying her own, smiling at him as she managed to grab on with a fairly steady, sure move of her tiny limb.

“You think I’m doing okay?” he asked softly. “I know what…you will think, but right now? Am I good enough for you? I just feel like…”

Like I need to be perfect. Like I need to be everything for you. Like you’re just like Zee: way too good for a shmuck like me.

As if she knew what he was thinking, May let go of his index finger and struggled for a moment to get her arms in enough to raise up, lifting her head with intense concentration in her expression. He watched her with a smile, not intervening as she got up on her elbows, then fell flat again when she slipped trying to reach for him.

Laughing, he shifted, picking her up and sitting her on the bed with a hand against her back. She leaned into him heavily, but kept her head up and reached for his face, her hand touching his cheek before trying to pat it.

“Oooo…ah! Aaaaaahhhh…”

He tried not to let the gurgling get him choked up, but his vision still blurred for a second as he turned his head and kissed her hand, then pretended to bite it with a playful growl. She rewarded him with a bright laugh, yanking her hand away from him.

“Thanks, babe.” He murmured, watching her as she stared at the blanket, trying to grab a fistful of fabric. “It’s good to know you think I’m doin’ okay.”

Lifting her head again, she smiled her toothless smile and went back to learning the use of her body. It wasn’t much in the way of affirmation, but at the moment it was enough to keep going.

One more day of life…one more reason to stay standing.

Muse: Tommy Karras
Fandom: Original Character
Words: 506


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December 2015

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