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[jp] what are you afraid of?
Oct. 4th, 2008 10:12 pm[locked from Zee]
If you wanna know the truth? I’m a little afraid of fatherhood.
I love Zee more than words can ever say, and there’s not an ounce of doubt in me that this kid we’re having is the best thing that will ever, ever happen to me. I’m not questioning the potential that we can make it as a family or the rights and wrongs of dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.
I’m not scared to have this kid…I’m scared of having this kid.
There are things in this world that come so rarely, so infrequently that some folks never see ‘em. There’s moments you live through that you never forget, life changing moments that destroy everything you know and rebuild the world around you in the space of a heartbeat.
There was a time I thought that moment, for me, was remembering who I was…until the first time I looked at Ziyah and realized that my life changed the second I looked into her eyes for the first time.
This child we’re having, it’s everything we are to each other. Every time I touch her, every time she touches me…that’s got a form now, and soon it’ll have a face, a name. It’s gonna grow up and walk the streets and leave some mark on the world. It’s love made manifest, and I can’t think of any more precious gift than that. Thing is, though…this kid is love made manifest. Our love.
What if I screw it up? This kid, I mean. What if I’m a sucky dad?
Nothing scares me worse than that…nothing on the planet scares me worse than the idea that I’m gonna be blessed with this miracle of human life, the both of us together in a single living person, and that I might end up failing her…or him.
So even though I ain’t real religious? Every day since she told me she was knocked up, I pray the same damn prayer: “Please, God, don’t let me fuck this shit up.”
[/locked]
Muse: Tommy Karras
Fandom: Original Character
Words: 338
If you wanna know the truth? I’m a little afraid of fatherhood.
I love Zee more than words can ever say, and there’s not an ounce of doubt in me that this kid we’re having is the best thing that will ever, ever happen to me. I’m not questioning the potential that we can make it as a family or the rights and wrongs of dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.
I’m not scared to have this kid…I’m scared of having this kid.
There are things in this world that come so rarely, so infrequently that some folks never see ‘em. There’s moments you live through that you never forget, life changing moments that destroy everything you know and rebuild the world around you in the space of a heartbeat.
There was a time I thought that moment, for me, was remembering who I was…until the first time I looked at Ziyah and realized that my life changed the second I looked into her eyes for the first time.
This child we’re having, it’s everything we are to each other. Every time I touch her, every time she touches me…that’s got a form now, and soon it’ll have a face, a name. It’s gonna grow up and walk the streets and leave some mark on the world. It’s love made manifest, and I can’t think of any more precious gift than that. Thing is, though…this kid is love made manifest. Our love.
What if I screw it up? This kid, I mean. What if I’m a sucky dad?
Nothing scares me worse than that…nothing on the planet scares me worse than the idea that I’m gonna be blessed with this miracle of human life, the both of us together in a single living person, and that I might end up failing her…or him.
So even though I ain’t real religious? Every day since she told me she was knocked up, I pray the same damn prayer: “Please, God, don’t let me fuck this shit up.”
[/locked]
Muse: Tommy Karras
Fandom: Original Character
Words: 338
