magic_fratboy: (emote - injured)
He spits another piece of ice into the crimson-stained drain, mouth numb and still somehow burning with agony as he contemplates the sight of his own blood marring the sterile white of his kitchen sink, offset by the coffee-stained white of the tooth he lost in the earlier fight.

It’s wrong and it’s ghastly, but he’s not shocked by it. The piece of ice glitters like a diamond, catching the color of each stain as it slides and rattles almost cheerfully when it hits the surface and settles in to nestle in the little chrome sieve just above the pipe.

It stings…but it’s beautiful... )

Muse: Tommy Karras
Fandom: Original Character
Words: 536
magic_fratboy: (fraternity - after a fight)
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.


==========

In the scattered shadows of the city, he feels a storm brewing.

The Darkness doesn’t toe the line anymore, but random violence still plagues his streets, evil he takes it upon himself to bring to the law’s front door or dispatch on his own. These are the cases Catherine and her team never see, the brutality and death he averts by shining light where it’s needed…banishing the night that calls to him.

It’s the dark that spawns his visions, and the dark brings forth a sense of things to come. The waters are muddy, clouded and dim, but still the light shines. His body is battered and weak, his soul is bruised and aching yet somewhere in the haze he can feel the heat of the sun to ease his sore muscles and soothe his troubled thoughts. There’s comfort coming, but it’s all in the dark.

He doesn’t understand it, not even knowing that she’s out there... )

Muse: Tommy Karras
Fandom: Original Character
Words: 472
magic_fratboy: (fraternity - after a fight)
NOTE: Takes place earlier this afternoon.

There are places in the world where good and evil are safe from each other. Safe havens exist for both, carved not out of protection but simple numbers. Dark can’t stand too much light, and light fades beneath shadow.

For the bad guys, that sanctuary is in dingy casinos off the Strip and just outside of Downtown Vegas. Off Freemont Street is where Tommy finds the one he wants…the darkest of the dark, the mecca of The Darkness in the heart of Las Vegas.

He takes an afternoon and goes in to have a drink, lighting the walls with breath of pure flame.

Good does not encroach on evil. Evil does not encroach on light…it’s a death sentence, and a breach of etiquette.

The Darkness gets his rage before it gets to the heart of him, and that’s exactly what he wants: to kill the fury and deliver a message to anyone that’s listening.

Don’t fuck with a Titan.

He walks out after twenty five minutes and pukes in an alley, but at least he’s alive. He’ll be sick for a week, but The Darkness will be, too. In the weeks to come, the city will get quiet and the air will get lighter…despair will take a holiday. Even the vampires and demons will lose a little of their passion, if only for a little while.

It’s a great victory…but it’s not a victory Tommy will take any joy in, because if evil cowers at his feet, it’s only because The Darkness doesn’t understand his distress.

It wasn’t responsible for taking Zee.
magic_fratboy: (emote - thoughtful)
You said yourself before
Where are you?
I'm needing you much more
I bet you never knew

And now everything
Is gonna fall apart
I need you here
Not just in my heart


====================

The slow, sensuous techno beat pouring out of the speakers of the club wasn’t like the usual dance music that filled the air. Around them, the dance floor was packed with a sea of warm, faceless bodies writhing to the pulsing rhythm.

She was warm and yielding in his arms, the lean planes of muscle and skin perfectly molded to his body as they moved with the music. There was something unusual about the way he came alive for her, something alien and
other about the warm rush, the excitement of holding her…of wanting her.

“Come home with me.”

“I can’t.” )

Muse: Tommy Karras
Fandom: Original Character
Words: 711
magic_fratboy: (emote - thoughtful)
When I'm alone I dream of the horizon and words fail me.
There is no light in a room where there is no sun
and there is no sun if you're not here with me, with me.
From every window unfurls my heart the heart that you have won.
Into me you've poured the light,
the light that you found by the side of the road.


====================

Sitting in his studio, surrounded by his paintings, he can feel her. If he closes his eyes, he can feel her without pain or fear, at his side and in the world…and in the canvas.

“You were here.”

He whispers to the empty room full of visions and figments, but he also whispers into the light of day, into the air that moves through space and connects him to everything. Wherever she is, whatever’s being done to her, she’s breathing that air and occupying the same space he’s in…distant, out of reach, but real and blessedly alive.

“You were here all along. You never left…you were taken. Every breath, every heartbeat, I can feel them…I could feel them the whole time.” )

Muse: Tommy Karras
Fandom: Original Character
Words: 522
magic_fratboy: (profile - troubled)
“Get fucked!”

“Get in line!”

For a long moment, Road To Ruin was thick with silence that only added to the uncomfortable tension in the room. It was an unusual and unpleasant enough circumstance when two Fraternity brothers were at each other’s throats…but it was worse and rarer still when Tommy Karras was one of the angry parties.

Sure, the other guy was six inches taller than him and outweighed him by forty pounds…sure, Tommy was scared shitless of getting his ass kicked. That didn’t change the fact that the linebacker staring down at him (his name was Kyle or Kenny or something equally banal) was wrong, and he was right.

. . . )

Muse: Tommy Karras
Fandom: Original Character
Words: 638
magic_fratboy: (emote - loss)
“It’s…her story.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s her story…all of ‘em. Oh God, it’s her.

“Tommy, what are you talking about?”

Blinking, Tommy stared at Channing as if seeing her for the first time, though they’d been comparing fabric swatches for her backdrop onstage for over an hour. The revelation hit him in the middle of agonizing over three different shades of crimson, slamming into him so hard that his hands were shaking and he couldn’t quite catch his breath.

“Tommy, you’re shaking…you’re white as a sheet! Are you okay?”

His knees were jelly as he moved to the center of the theater’s stage, then strode over to grab a bolt of cloth from the left side and shook it into the air. Blood red streamed behind him as he stalked back swiftly, creating a ribbon of color that rippled and fell like water to reveal a series of paintings that hadn’t been on the empty stage a moment before.

“The dreams, the paintings…it’s her, Chan.” )

Muse: Tommy Karras
Fandom: Original Character
Words: 529
magic_fratboy: (emote - somber)
List of things that remind me of someone:

- HSN and QVC
- Teletubbies
- Demolition (long story)
- angels
- swords
- cannolis
- cursing in Italian
- cats
- Mayan culture
- clubbing
- rock music
- turn of the century aviation
- the Voisin
- straightjackets
- Greek food (stuffed grape leaves in particular)
- rough sex
- sweet smiles with bad intentions

List of moments I'd like to rewind:

- First glimpse of Zee I ever got. I remember thinking no man could touch that Amazon goddess and live to tell about it. I did.

- First time we kissed. She was half dead in my arms, and I was seriously fucked up 'cause I thought I lost her...still felt like I'd just won the Lottery.

- The last day we spent at home in LA. Slept late on a Saturday, Kel was stretched out on her chest and Hardy was wedged between us in bed. Zee was awake, I was half asleep, but I still heard her muttering under her breath in Italian...she was talkin' to the baby in her belly, and I knew right then that I couldn't have asked for a more perfect woman to be the mother of my child.

- The last time she said 'I love you' to me. It was in our suite just before I left to take May to see my folks while she took care of some stuff on her own. She kissed me and said it, and I left. Didn't think about it, didn't stop to consider it...I wanna go back and treasure that moment.

- The moment I was told my girlfriend had been murdered. I know, how come, right? Maybe if I went through it again...maybe if I torture myself enough with the reality of that moment...maybe I can finally feel the pain of it. Maybe then I can finally grieve for the woman I love.

Tommy Karras
Original Character
magic_fratboy: (look - wifebeater)
I quit my job today.

Took that lyric from a demo Toca and his crew let me listen to...thanks, brother. It's killing me, but it's also helping. Gift of music, I guess.

So I been listening to this song...and I quit my job today.

To those of you I'm leavin' behind in LA, I'm sorry. I can't go back there, though. I can't live in that history, I can't keep those memories so close. Zee's life has ended, and I can't find that part of the thread that's us. I have to get to the end...so I can't live in the beginning.

Anyway, I called Sassy and Jelly and the rest of the Fraternity to help me get shit together. Sassy's gonna ask her dad for help with a real estate agent and pack up the loft, Jelly's taking my client load and dividing it up at the office except for a few that I'm keeping privately. My boss was cool about it...even offered to take me back later if I change my mind. I'm heading to Florence for the funeral, then to New York for a couple weeks. See my aunt and my cuz, decompress a little...figure some stuff out.

To those of you in Vegas, you'll be pleased to know I'm coming back to stay. Gonna find a place for me and May, get a new job...Mom always wanted me to come home again, now she'll get her wish. I have stuff to do here, people who need me...people who needed Zee. I'm gonna be there where she can't be.

She's haunting me...I can't sleep. I can't think...I can't stop waiting for her to walk right into me. I don't know why I can't cope with this, but it's makin' me insane and I gotta get my shit together for May. The last thing I wanna do is fail my daughter...

Sorry, I'm just tired and...you know. So I'm cleaning out my work email before I lose access at the end of the week? I tend to send myself shit to back it up...so I found some old pics I never shared, and later I scanned something nobody ever got to see.

Check it out, but if the subject of Zee's still too touchy, you might not wanna click the cut...

Some pics of Zee... )

Zee, if you're out there somewhere, I miss you, I love you...and I'm beggin' you to let me go. Before losing you really does kill me.
magic_fratboy: (emote - crying)
NOTE: Based on this letter received from Cinzia ([livejournal.com profile] inlight_ofcinz) just after Ziyah's death.

It’s all that’s left…a letter with an all too familiar coffee stain and silence ringing in his ears while he reads. The words are in her familiar busy scrawl, empty and meaningless without her voice to give them warmth and nuance.

The coffee stain means more to him than the tender words of comfort and love ever could. He can see her in his mind’s eye, cursing in Italian and moving her cup when she sees the damp ring forming on the stationary. She’d be too impatient to start over, knowing he wouldn’t care…

He wants her. It’s a sweet, fleeting need to touch her, to hear her. He can’t call out our reach out, because she’s just beyond his reach…

The pain of loss isn’t what drives him to his feet with an angry howl. It isn’t what clenches his fist around the letter and calls power to flesh, setting the note ablaze. He’s hollow, he’s aching, but it’s not grief that drives him to fling the burning wad of paper against a nearby wall with enough strength to scorch and chip the paint.

“Tommy, I heard a noise…oh my word!”

His mother’s voice is tinny and distant in his ears. Hellish red eyes just watch, brimming with tears as he watches the paper fall to the floor and burn. The words disappear as ash forms, the coffee stain the last to go as the fire consumes the last of Ziyah’s final words.

“Tom Tom?”

He hears his father, knowing he’s afraid that he’s not talking to his son. He almost wishes that the Titan god’s rage was on him, but it’s just the power of his own anguish.

“Where is she, Dad?” His own voice is strained, angry in his ears as the tears spill down his cheeks. It’s all he can do not to shout again, afraid of waking Mayilia. “Where is she?”

There aren’t any answers in the comforting circle of his father’s arms. The nonsense words of comfort don’t soothe him like they did when he was younger. This is one thing Dad can’t fix, he can’t make her last letter hold meaning or solace. He can’t help Tommy grieve.

Still, he holds on and lets the tears of frustration fall, praying to grieve. He prays to Zeus, to Elpis, to any god listening…not for comfort and not for peace.

He prays for the killing blow. He prays for pain so that her final words will mean something.

He begs the gods to let him feel her death, so that he can stop waiting for her to come home.

Muse: Tommy Karras
Fandom: Original Character
Words: 436
magic_fratboy: (emote - beaten down)
It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
There's nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
Its just the way that you would tied in
Now there's no-one home


I feel like there shouldn’t be so much air. Like the oxygen should be gone, I should be having trouble breathing. When I know that tonight, her scent on the sheets will only be a memory that’ll fade with time, when I know that tomorrow I’ll wake up and we won’t be drawing on the same air…when I know that, I shouldn’t be able to breathe so easily.

It could be May, it could absolutely be May…she looks so much like her mother it’s heartbreaking. Staring down into her crib while she was napping at my mom’s, I could see it in her. I was so lost in that simple joy of realizing how much of Zee went into making her that it didn’t hit right away when I got the call.

Sure as hell hit when I saw the pictures, though. When they showed me the images of that headless corpse, the tattoos, the blood-spattered jacket I gave her for Christmas...

My daughter’s the last thing I have to live for, and I can still breathe so easily. In and out, it’s almost too simple. It should be harder when I’m breathing in this air alone.

When I know she’ll fade from this room, from the fabric and the sheets and the scenery. The city will forget her like it’s forgotten so many others.

In and out, it’s too easy. I didn’t have a lick of trouble calling Cinzia, even less calling Sal and Sizz to tell them. Some knew, some didn’t, but none of it mattered.

I can’t think…I can’t hardly leave my room, just ‘cause I can’t lug May around in all this chaos. I’m staying with my folks now while the suite’s still a crime scene.

I can’t understand this. It doesn’t make sense. How can there be so much air? How can I breathe so easily when she can’t?

How can I keep going when Ziyah’s gone still?

Why am I still alive when the woman I love is dead?

Muse: Tommy Karras
Fandom: Original Character
Words: 335

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December 2015

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