big mouth, big wallet, big trouble... (rp for no_substitution)

[magic_fratboy]

He'd known it was a mistake the second he uttered the words, should have realized who he was dealing with and what she was capable of. Still, somehow, with two lifetimes behind him and a general sense for his own personal welfare, he spoke standing right there in front of her, him with a death wish and her with a fresh tray of her trademark cookies in hand.

"I think I need new jeans."

Things got sort of fuzzy after that, and amidst a tidal wave of chatter, bouncing, car keys, and a toddler's shrieking, Tommy found himself at the Forum Shops at Caesar's, Mayilia on his hip with the bag of candy Sassy had already bought her, hoping to God that he could somehow corral his best friend, the personal shopper with a bottomless wallet.

"Sass? Sass, will ya stop for a sec? I need new jeans, that's it, you ain't buyin' me a new wardrobe. Or May...Sass, are you even listening to me?"

Comments

[no-substitution.livejournal.com]

Sometimes Sassy wondered if her friends had like, a total mental block when it came to her shopping addiction. (Yes, she was addicted, and yes, she admitted it.) They said they'd go shopping with her and yet they were perpetually surprised with her flotilla of personal shoppers and Black AmEx. Really now.

Even Cain was surprised.

Idiots.

"Of course I'm listening to you, Tommy. You need new jeans." She smiled sweetly at him, waiting for his own words to sink in. He didn't say he need a new PAIR of jeans -- therefore singular -- but new jeans. Plural.

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

"One pair, Sass. One. And I don't need any matching shirts or shoes or leather jackets, and May don't need new clothes to coordinate with mine. And I don't need a new car to go with the colors I'm wearing..."

[no-substitution.livejournal.com]

She shrugged. Again, idiots. It was her right to buy May things. And it wasn't like she was all with the needy and took that priviledge away from Zee and Tommy themselves.

But if she saw a bright, sparkly tutu was she supposed to not buy it? Yeah. Right.

Finally, she sighed and shooed the personal shopper away with a haughty "You can leave now" and a wave of her hand. Buh bye. "Fine, one pair of jeans because clearly this is a no fun for Sassy day." She scowled. "Gimme the baby, at least she still loves me." She held a hand expectantly, popping her earrings out with the other hand. She'd already had them ripped out accidentally.

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

"Sass, c'mon!" he protested as May squirmed to be let down. "Don't be like that..."

"I wanna shop!" May chirped, scampering over to wrap herself around Sassy's leg. At a year and a half old, she'd already developed to the level of a two and a half year old, capable of speaking her mind...a thing she did often. Looking up at Sassy imploringly, she pooched out her lower lip.

"Shop, An'ee Seesee? I want jeems!"

Tommy sighed, fighting a smile and failing. "Okay, fine...a couple pairs. And we can look at stuff for May, but seriously, Sass? That's it, I mean it."

[no-substitution.livejournal.com]

Scooping May up with a grin, Sassy snuggled her for a good long while and then plopped her on her hip and kissed her head. "Mayilia Alessa, are you sure you want jeans? Don't you want to look around first? What if you see something you like better?"

Contrary to popular belief, Sassy's father hadn't spoiled her when she was young. He'd said those same words to her, repeatedly, so by the time they were done shopping she'd have one thing proudly clutched in her hands because it was the one thing she liked better than the rest. Then she turned sixteen and it all went down hill.

"Like a lime green My Little Pony."

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

Mayilia promptly stuck out her tongue and made a face at the mention of the green pony. Tommy had to laugh at that, coming up behind both of them and kissing each girl's forehead.

"She hates green." Tommy explained. "Ain't that right, baby girl?"

"No geem." May insisted, but pouted thoughtfully to consider Sassy's previous question before nodding and patting her cheek urgently.

"Yook, An'ee Seesee. I yook mo'."

[no-substitution.livejournal.com]

"Atta girl," Sassy told her psuedo niece with a smile, wrinkling her nose at Tommy's gooey affection. Her two favorite men, all badass and macho until their daughters came into the picture and then it was just instant AWWWW

Absentmindedly browsing racks of clothes, Sassy turned to her best friend. "How's Miss Zee and the other bun?"

[magic-fratboy.livejournal.com]

"Zee's still scared to death it ain't gonna happen." Tommy admitted, following Sassy as she browsed, pausing only for a second to discreetly remove a shirt from one rack and peer at it before dismissing it again. "Baby's healthy, so is she...it's same shit as before, she just thinks it's like too good to be true or somethin', ya know?"

"Imma has a brubber." May declared proudly, puffing out her chest. "Imma big sis'er."

[no-substitution.livejournal.com]

She grinned at May. "You betcha, kiddo."

"I think it's a mom thing?" Sassy ventured with a shrug. "Bee had her fair share of meltdowns, and it's not like they're all up and up with the normalcy, you know? There's not much of a standard. Unless you count Harry Potter I guess."